oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
