Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize