friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
