i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
