just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
