I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
