did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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