the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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