do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
