i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
