i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
