Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
