So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
