mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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