Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
