so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Of course I have a pirate flag
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
