new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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