I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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