um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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