: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I look better un-naked...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
