If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
