i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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