so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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