You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
