careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
