ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
