You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we have pet lesbian snakes
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
