everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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