I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
