I think my vagina is haunted
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
