Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize