You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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