are you still at the devil's house?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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