Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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