Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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