I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
