Did you just see the Batmobile???
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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