I have demons in me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
