Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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