Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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