I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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