508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We have so much sex to catch up on
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
