I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
