nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He kissed a someone with a penis
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
