I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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