Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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