thus making me awesome and them whores
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
