don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
