Kiss
Puke
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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