I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
