just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
