It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
