I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
