you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
