What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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