I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
