So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
