im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
