well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
