you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
