just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
