I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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