Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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