I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
50% drunk capacity currently
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
