I bet he comes in French.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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