I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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