This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
