We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
