when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
