Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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